Trust Jesus

Sometimes those words are comforting, sometimes it's like nails on a chalkboard... Yes, we know we're to trust Jesus but sometimes it's just not that easy. I don't know if anyone else has noticed the [now] faded sign on I-69 south bound just past the Gaither Studio sign (a few miles north of Hwy 28). It is nailed to a telephone pole 25 feet off the road and sometimes obscured by a small tree.
Casey has just had surgery within the last few weeks. Since our deductible is met, we pay 20% of the cost. After having the surgery, we've come to find out that the surgery was double the original amount, and then later it jumped to more than three times the original number. This has really become a struggle for us trying to figure out where the money will come from. I wasn't thrilled with the second amount, but had dealt with it. Casey called me very upset when the number climbed higher, because of my previous reaction.
Where the two stories meet is on I-69. I was really struggling with our situation when I drove by the sign yet again. I immediately felt a sense of calm, knowing God's truth. Soon after, we figured out that our remaining contribution limits for Casey are close to what we were going to pay originally. This is entirely manageable! Yet again God has blessed us.

I CAN'T count the number of times on one hand that the "Trust Jesus" sign has helped me. Next time you drive south on I-69 from somewhere up north, take a moment to look for the sign...it may just make your day a little better.

Or worse...

In our wedding vows, it says "for better or worse". The last few days since Casey's surger, I've been helping take care of Casey. I know Casey is trying hard to do what she can for herself, but there's not a whole lot she can do right now.

When I took those vows, I wasn't thinking about this kind of situation (I'd imagine, most people probably do the same). I get calls 2-3 times an hour (during waking hours) to get a drink, to add a pillow, or numerous other things.

This is all time consuming, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Would I like to do it forever and ever? Well no. If it were necessary, would I do it? Absolutely, and I would be thankful every day. I'm thankful for this opportunity God has given me to do for more than just myself. I feel better because it takes my focus off of me.

Beautiful car, crazy speed!

An unbelievable video! The first car I ever drove was a 1931 Ford Model A. This is a '29 that has been tweaked...roughly 10 times the original power, but is a beautiful piece of work. Now the question is, how do I convince Grandpa to let me do this to his Model A?

A funny video

I don't know if you have driven your car on ice yet, but I felt like I was doing this till the roads cleared today.

Eric

Shivers down my spine

Have you ever heard a song that just gave you the chills? Sometimes a song is just capable of touching your heart. The new song "Down the Road" by Kenny Chesney and Mac McAnally is just one of those songs. It asks "is he washed in the blood or just in the water". I really like the message of this song.

I hope it does the same for you as it did for me.

Rich People Problems Part II

Have you ever had someone ask you what you would like for Christmas, and you can't come up with anything? After quite a bit of time thinking, I've come up with only 2 things: a desk lamp that will goose neck over my computer monitors, and lighting for my garage. So far I've come up with nothing else.

Yeah, I do want a nice new big TV, a new car, etc. I can't ask for any of that. Either its too expensive, or I feel like it would be asking too much of someone. This isn't really the odd part though.

Here's the kicker. I recently decided I want to build a media computer for my home theater set up (okay so it's not a big screen and stadium seating, but I digress). I found and obtained an Xbox 360 that was broken to use as the case. I picked out the parts that I wanted inside, but then I decided that's not what I want.

Normally, you hear about money not buying you happiness. People spend all their money on stuff thinking it will make them happy. I don't even get to the purchasing part before I decide there's something else I've got to have. I'm beginning to think this is due to my wine tastes and my Kool Aid budget. I have the taste for a 1787 Chateau Lafite Bordeaux (I Googled "best wine ever" to come up with the wine name :D ) but the budget for a $.22 Kool Aid. By the time I have started earning the money, I've become discouraged with the toy I want and look elsewhere.

I'm not entirely sure where this is post going, but I feel like there's something more here I need to gather from this. Obviously, money and toys don't buy happiness, and maybe I'm just stumbling ahead of the curve because I'm frustrated. I guess I just take so much for granted, maybe this is how I'm paying for that.

Rich people problems

Lately, I've been struggling with burn out. I'm tired of school (rich people problem), I'm bored of surfing the Internet to read about things I want do to my car but can't afford (still a rich people problem), I'm burnt out on not being able to purchase any toys (a rich people problem), and I need a vacation but I'm out of time off (yet another rich people problem).

I'm not complaining just to complain. I really don't have enough margin in my life, and I'm clueless as to how to fix that. I don't watch TV (maybe 60 minutes a week, if that), I don't go out and do things because I can't afford to.

I love to learn, which is why I do a lot of reading on the 'net, but I'm getting frustrated because I can't go do any of the things I reading about. Here's the craziest part, my job is actually the least stressful part of my week, and I look forward to going to work after a crazy weekend of homework because I DON'T HAVE TO DO HOMEWORK!

On a good note, I have 6 classes left to graduate from Ivy Tech, and I'm scheduled for 3 classes next semester. Hopefully I'll be done by next fall! YAY!

Me, Myself, and Irene

So, yet another night I can't sleep. It's well after 1 am, and I've not begun to snooze yet...I guess I'll do a post to try and settle my mind so I can sleep.

Okay, maybe I put one too many names on there, but the split personality is my target. I know where I want to go with this, but whether the words end up reflecting that target or not, I'm not sure.

When it comes to socializing, I'm sure I'm not the only one here, but there's the Me everyone knows, and there's the Myself that I know. I struggle with what I let others see. Growing up, image was very ingrained in my upbringing. I have people close to me (who shall remain nameless) that wouldn't buy alcohol locally because someone might see them buying it and think poorly of them. This isn't to say they were/are irresponsible with it, but image was everything. As time passes, I'm trying to rid myself of that.

I personally would rather go to the bar, have some social time (and maybe or maybe not have alcohol), and make sure others get home safely, than to hide what I'm doing for fear of judgment. But the question is, where do I draw the line between personal life, and being real? I have struggles much as anyone with a heartbeat and breath in their lungs does, but that doesn't mean I want to share them.

People see me as being[at least I hope] a good guy, trustworthy, and who knows what else. I've always stayed away from the spotlight for fear of people not liking who they saw. I crack jokes because I enjoy them, but also because it keeps others from having time to get to know me deep down where I'm uncomfortable.

I'm not sure where anybody else is, but I'm ruled by my fears. No matter how hard I try, I have the fear that others won't approve of me. I'm often somewhat quiet in a group because I don't want to be the center of attention. I did everything I could do in school to blend in, because those who stood out got picked on. For this reason, I often don't speak my opinion. If I were to make a statement about something that was right, someone could be sore about it and retaliate, if I were wrong, then people like to rub it in--neither situation is positive. I struggle to speak my mind even on meaningless tasks in my daily life. Thank God that I have Casey to help pull me through the awkwardness and help me to be a better communicator.

I guess my biggest problem is that fear of rejection. I look up to those who can speak their mind and are able to deal with the consequences, good or bad. I struggle with that even to those who are close friends and family. I just wish I knew how to deal with my problems.

As always, comments are welcomed and appreciated. Now maybe I can get some sleep.

Something hit me today

Sorry for the loooooong time between updates, but I haven't had much to say--until today that is.

Have you ever heard the saying "burning the candle at both ends"? Have you ever thought about the meaning of that? If you took a candle, turned it sideways and set each end on fire, it would quickly make a mess on the table or floor, burn quickly, and then burn out.

With school and work being a constant in my life, I'm doing exactly that. The mess is my life, forgetting things, not having time to work on things that desperately need attention, and not having time for myself or my wonderful wife.

The burn out is what happens when there's no down time to recuperate. Casey and I are both at the point of burn out...I'm getting to the point where I don't really care about school--not a good thing.

Since Casey and I don't really have time for a growth group, we started reading a couple books last night. We both read a bit in "LOVE & RESPECT: the love she desperately needs, the respect he really deserves", and each started devotional books. Hopefully being closer to our God will bring us closer together and help us deal with stress better.

Hopefully my next post won't have to wait as long as this one has.

Overdue update

I decided today that I needed to update my blog. It's been far too long since I did so. I am just about to start my 3rd week of classes, and I'm already overwhelmed. I didn't have a chance to do my homework this past week, so I'm cramming it all into this weekend. I got 2 of my classes done/almost done yesterday, and I'm working on the rest today.

Unfortunately, I'm having a bit of difficulty concentrating on my studies because of my allergies. I haven't had to deal with them for quite a while, but they have beaten me up badly. I've probably been through a half box of Kleenex so far, and I'll probably end up near a full box just this weekend. My nose looks like Bozo the Clown's nose . :-(

Please keep Casey and me in your prayers for our sanity and well being.

Eric

My wife...my blessing

The other day I saw a wall decoration that said "God grant me the patience to deal with my blessings." Well God has definitely made that stand out in my mind. I've always been pretty poor in communications with others. I do 'okay' in social situations, but not well...and I have always struggled with communication with my wife. Thank goodness my wife is so great at it.

Slowly but surely, I'm being yanked from my shell (the one that isolates me from having to share how I feel--yeah, yeah I feel dirty just saying that!). My wife does very well communicating, but that has never been my forte. She is definitely my complement...and my better half. Thanks to her patience and ability to pull me out of my shell, I feel so much more comfortable talking about things with her now than ever before.

On a related note--and more to the topic of this post--my brother recently told me that he needed to find a good woman, and I told him that I already married her. My wife is such a blessing to me that I can't begin to express how much she means.

New blogger announcement

My incredible wife, Casey, has started blogging. I'm sure she can use lots of support in her new endeavor!

Please keep us in your prayers as we're about to be tested to our limits. I'm currently working full-time and she is working part-time, I'm about to start back into school and she is about to begin nursing school. We've made it over a year now (had our one year anniversary on the 14th of this month), but haven't had to deal with nursing school yet.

Phil 4:13 says "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength"...well we're gonna need it! Thank you for your prayers.

Obama and Christ

From the very beginning I have been a fan of Barack Obama. The fact that he lacks typical 'political experience' is not a negative in my book. Maybe I'm too cynical about our politicians, but between lobbyists and everything else I don't trust 'Washington experience'.

When Obama came along I felt like he had that fresh look to him...but something gets to me--and still bothers me: "I believe there are many paths to the same place, and that is a belief that there is a higher power, a belief that we are connected as a people." This is very obviously wrong...but he isn't the only one who has made this nature of statement. Our current president said this 4 years ago:

Charlie Gibson: Do we all worship the same God, Christians and Muslims?

President Bush: I think we do. We have different routes of getting to the Almighty.

Charlie Gibson: Do Christians and non-Christians, do Muslims go to heaven in your mind?

President Bush: Yes, they do. We have different routes of getting there.

I never liked Bush...but I'm finding myself between a rock and a hard place here. I don't like Obama's statement on beliefs, but I don't care of McCain either. I just don't know what to do, and I have the distinct impression that I'm not the only one.

Roll call?

Hey, I know there are a few of you who read my blog, and I'd like to see who is watching. Feedback is always helpful, too! So if you're reading this please comment just to let me know you're paying attention.

Thanks!

Running on empty

I am officially declaring that I want to live my life in a full manner. I want to get to where I'm living my life with some reserves in the tank. What do I mean? Well, more than just having a full tank of gas.

I want to live NOT paycheck to paycheck. I want to live my life without constantly feeling drained and tired. I want to live my life that I can have time for myself and my family. I want to live a worry-free life. Don't get me wrong...I don't want a life void of fun or anything like that.

When I was younger, I held everything on my shoulders. I had issues with ulcers and stress. I recently decided that most things weren't worth worrying about. I've been told that many people come to this realization when they have a heart-attack or some major medical problem where they realize their problem [life] is terminal. If I die tomorrow, is it going to matter that there's a few dishes in the sink, that there's a bed unmade, or a flower bed that isn't weeded? Not one bit!

I want to live with weekends where I can [mostly] relax. Working all week, then doing massive projects/running around all weekend, and then back to the work week is not a way to live life. If for no other reason than the fact that we are to remember the Sabbath and keep it holy. Never slowing down may be a way to keep up with the Jones's, but that life--THE Rat Race--is a way to NOT efficiently get projects done, or work for that matter.

I want to live within my budget. Having gas cut significantly into my budget means I don't have enough reserves. It is my sincerest hope that I can budget to live off one income (great idea if one person loses a job!), save half of the other income, and use some of what's left for play. That way WHEN gas prices go higher, it isn't a big deal.

I want to live within the time allotted to me. I want to budget my time to have time for my God, my family, and myself.

I hope that sharing this may help some of the rest of you. If you have thoughts on this, please share them!

Meeting the neighbors

When you move to a new neighborhood, you never know who your neighbors will be. I remember [waaaay back] when I was a kid, moving meant your neighbors brought over cooked dishes and introduced themselves. The apartment I lived at for the past year was nothing like that. I never did meet my neighbors from anywhere around me.

Well, fast forward to our new home. The first day I went over and met our neighbors a few doors down. It turns out the neighbors consist of a 60-ish widowed woman, and two men in their mid-40's. I introduced myself and quickly figured out the guys are living an alternative lifestyle. I have never felt comfortable hanging out with 'them', but these neighbors are really fun to hang around.

I feel like God is trying to open my eyes to see everyone as a somebody rather than stereotyping and shutting people out. After spending some time with them, I just feel like I need to share His love. I don't agree with their choices, but I'm still called to love them as people. Who knows what God may do through me!

Ordinary people

First off, this is a long overdue blog. We've moved, we finished school for the semester, went on vacation...all sorts of crazy things going on. Anyhow...on to the important stuff!

Hearing Kris give the message today hit really close to home for me. Casey has truly changed my life and blessed me in so many ways I can't begin to count them. I'm sure she has no idea how much she has done for my confidence, my happiness, my work ethic, etc. She is not the only one, but has definitely had more influence on me than anyone else (isn't that how it's supposed to be?).

Anyhow, one thing I've tried to do at work (and everywhere else) is to catch people off guard by giving them a compliment--whether it's to them, or more importantly to someone they are accountable to.

My reasoning is this: in customer service, 99.99% of the time anything reported to a supervisor is negative. If you do your job well, you hear nothing...make one mistake and you get crucified for it by others. Because of this, I have made it a point to tell others when they are doing things right (ever heard of positive reinforcement?).

What I've noticed from my experiment--I don't just randomly point things out as positive...all my experiment is genuine--is that you really catch others off guard when you do this. Want to have a talk with someone? Try disarming them with POSITIVE comments. Don't butter them up, THEY MUST BE GENUINE!

By doing this, I have noticed a change in how others respond to me (and occasionally others). God wants us to show his love, but many people will shut down if you try and talk to them about Him. If you spread joy by your actions, you may just have better luck when you talk to them.

Random thoughts and an update

Well, there's good news and no news...I took 3 of the certification tests, and passed the 3 I took. The 4th I haven't taken yet. I have a few more days before it MUST be taken, and I wasn't ready for it when I had initially scheduled it. I'm thrilled by this latest blessing--and the fact that I now have something to show for all the money I've spent on school!

As far as random thoughts go, I want to talk about getting upset, mad, ticked off, etc. IT'S NOT WORTH IT!

The things that make us angry most often are things we have zero control over. A few examples:

My wife curbed the wheels on our car the other day. A guy behind her wasn't paying attention when she got over, so she bumped the curb rather than being rear-ended. When she told me, I was upset that there was damage to our car--that we're responsible for. If she had been hit by the idiot behind her, it would have been the other person's fault. Personal safety not being considered here, the damage had already been done by the time she told me. I wasn't happy about the damage, but staying in a crappy mood because of it WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING!

Here's another...I worked yesterday to take care of some customers that are unavailable during the week. Casey knew I was working, and what I had planned on doing. Things were going great because I got the first job done early. Unfortunately, the second one didn't take 15 minutes like I had hoped...it took almost 2 hours. When I told her where I was, she was very unhappy about it--as was I. I didn't want to work on Saturday to begin with...but I couldn't bail in the middle of doing my work, either. I could tell she was frustrated when I hung up with her, but by the time I had gotten home, she was just glad to have me there.

Sorry for the long stories. I'm not trying to put myself up on a pedestal, but I want to share a way that God has given me a blessing, and hopefully let you experience the same blessing He gave me.

Quick update

First off, I have 4 tests for certifications in networking this week. I'm half-way through, and have passed both so far. Tomorrow's test I'm not too concerned about, but Thursday's test scares me. I'm working hard at studying, but this stuff is very difficult.

On another note entirely, I saw a bumper sticker I wanted to share. It said "I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ." After doing some searching, the statement is apparently by Ghandi. Regardless of who it originated from, it resonates with non-Christians. I hope I'm not one of those Christians who do not reflect my Christ. I know I fall short of Him often, but I hope that I can set a good example and show His love as often as possible.

What a great day!

Casey called me the other day while I was at work. She told me that our dog had just run out the door and would not come back to her. We have been missing our dog for the last 4 days now. We called the local shelters and had heard nothing. Unfortunately, the dog didn't have a tag on her collar telling who she belonged to.

Fast forward till today. We'd given up on finding her. Casey called and asked me to go help a friend of hers with a bunch of kids she was babysitting. I was on the way over there when I spotted a dog that looked--just like mine! I stopped in the middle of the road and told the guy and he found my dog. He said he had her for the last 4 days! He quickly unhooked her and let me put her in my car. I am soooo happy to have her back.